Why I Changed My Name from Sinduz Marie to Soondus Maria

If you’ve followed me for a while, you probably know me as Sinduz, or Sinduz Marie. I went by those names for years. So why the change to Soondus Maria?

The short answer: I grew into loving the name I was given. Here’s the longer story.

Growing Up as Sinduz

Soondus (سندس) is my given Arabic name, and it means silk. It’s said and written a little differently depending on the dialect. My dad’s side says it more like “Sin-dos.” But in the Quran, both syllables use the “oo” sound from “book,” somewhere between “soon” and “sun,” and that’s how I say it.

When I was younger, I shortened and Americanized it to Sinduz. It was easier for my teachers and friends to say, and honestly, it made me feel normal.

Growing up with a name no one could pronounce wasn’t always on my mind. But when a good friend of mine at the time told me my name was “ugly,” I think that’s when I started to feel ashamed of it. That made it all the easier to want to change it.

I went by “Sin” or “Sinduz” for a very long time.

Where “Marie” Came From

Online, I’ve been Sinduz Marie since around 2020. I picked Marie because I loved Marie from The Aristocats.

Growing Into My Real Name

Eventually, after growing up and growing into myself, I realized I loved my actual name. I wanted to embrace it, not keep using the nickname I’d created when I was little.

There was a practical side, too. “Sinduz” looks a lot like Sindhu and Sindu, which are Indian names. People often assumed I was Indian, and some even reached out to me because of the spelling. Those are beautiful names, they just aren’t mine, and Sinduz never reflected my Arab identity.

Why Maria

I’m half Italian, and I wanted that side of me represented, too. Once I realized Maria is the Italian spelling (Marie is the French one), switching felt right.

My mom also shared a sweet family story: my great-grandmother used to call my grandmother Maria, even though her legal name was Mary. I loved having that personal connection in my name.

A Name That Can Grow With Me

For years, my name online was tied to corsets. I’ve been waist training since 2013, and corsets will always be a big part of what I share. But I didn’t want to be defined only by them.

I wanted room to talk about beauty, mindset, lifestyle, or anything else I feel like sharing my thoughts on. Most of all, I wanted a name and brand that could grow with me long-term. Soondus means silk, and that soft, feminine feeling fits everything I want this space to be.

A New Chapter

When I bought my first ever corset in 2013 (the black one shown below), I vlogged my 100-day corset journey on YouTube. On that former corset channel (now deleted), I went by Soondus. That’s how my father found my corset content. He disowned me, and it started what feels like our hundred-year battle.

I was also getting creepy messages back then, which Lucy Corsetry mentioned when someone asked about me on Tumblr. But the real reason I deleted my channel was my father finding out. I was too embarrassed to admit that, so when I came back as Sinduz, I told people it was because of the creepy messages. Deleting that channel is still one of my biggest regrets. Luckily, I saved a few photos from that time and turned them into videos. You can watch them in my YouTube Bod Mod membership.

I went by Sinduz online because my family knew me as Soondus, not Sinduz, and I didn’t want my father or anyone else in my family to find me.

So going back to Soondus publicly isn’t simply a username change. It’s a new chapter. I’m becoming more comfortable embracing my identity, including the possibility of being recognized online by people I know in real life. (My relationship with my father will always be teetering on the brink of exile, but as of right now, we’re fine.)

The Biggest Reason

I grew into loving the name I was given and no longer wanted to hide behind an Americanized nickname. I wanted my public identity to reflect my actual name, my Arab roots, my Italian heritage, and the woman I am today.

And that’s why I chose Soondus Maria.

What About You?

Have you ever wanted to change your name to something that suited you a bit more during a time in your life? Maybe, after some reflection and years of growing up, you realized your name was the best one you could have asked for, regardless of who thinks it’s “ugly.”

If so, I hope you know time heals all (or most) name wounds. And I truly hope you learn to love the name you were given.

Where to Find Me Now

If you knew me as Sinduz Marie, here’s where I am now:

• YouTube: weekly corset diaries, plus every diary since 2020 in The Corset Archives for Bod Mod members. Watch here
• Newsletter: occasional emails with corset updates, new posts, and a little of whatever’s on my mind. Sign up here

♡, S